a Little Moments

Jadi ini lanjutan dari jangan panik bu, maika muntah pas lagi tidur gara2 gw benerin posisi tidurnya. Jadi gw pikir itu salah gw mindahin ga bener. Terus jam 1 pagi dia muntah lagi terus abis itu kasih minum dan aman dia tidur lagi. Ternyata berlanjut dari jam 3-8 dan akhirnya jam 9 gw bawa ke dokter. Jreng dehidrasi sedang dan kudu dirawat semalem.

Kacau bgt gw, jadi seharian itu emang pergi muter ke sodara sampai malemnya gw udah keabisan energi, dan saat itu gw tidur di lantai 2 yg ga ada kamar mandinya. Setiap Maika muntah gw harus turun ke bawah. Jadi kebayang kan berapa kali gw naik turun tangga buat bersih2 bekas muntah, sampai gw lupa buat kasi pertolongan pertama buat anak gw.

Pelajaran buat gw, harusnya di awal2 dia muntah itu gw udah beraksi kasih obat anti mual atau pedialyte.

Anyway panik jangan, santai juga jangan ya hahaha naon sih.

Klo anak lagi muntah2 jangan panik jangan buru2 dikasih minum. Tunggu setengah jam baru kasih minum dan bubur yg dimasak pake kaldu ayam.

Pengalaman Elina muntah2 karena makan makanan yg udah ga bagus. Gw buru2 beli vometa eh dia udah baikan setelah praktekin cara di atas.

Klo anak keseleo masih bisa jalan walaupun agak pincang, gpp, coba kompres pake es dan kasih trombopop nanti memarnya juga akan hilang. Kalau mau pake anti nyeri bisa pake bufect, itu yg diresepin dokter.

Pengalaman Maika jatuh terus keseleo, dan gw panik lalu bawa ke dokter berakhir dengn biaya 700 rb karena pake rontgen segala wkkkwkk.. Tapi deng jadi tau anaknya flat feet dan masih bisa diperbaikin dengan jalan jinjit 5 menit sekali pagi dan sore. Flat feet ini banyak resikonya, alhamdulillah bisa ketauan sejak dini.

Lega banget abis denger kajian dapet doa ini. Ga khawatir lagi sama kalian karena ga bisa terus ngawasin setiap saat. Adanya di surat Ali Imran ayat 36. Bagian nama Maryam diganti jadi nama kalian.

You're not a superman/superwoman tomorrow, so do it today, right now, go. There's no different tomorrow, still the same you. One thing I remember from a book "hello, habits" by Fumio Sasaki.

A few days ago, I had difficulty controlling emotion when taking care of the kids. They make me upset because they didn't behave like I wish they did. They also see the bad things in me, and they follow what they see. I hate it because I can't make a good example for them. 

Now my daughter imitates my temperament. When she was angry with her brother, I saw myself in her. I wish I could erase that bad experience in her head. 

I realize that my children's behavior is my responsible. If I want them to be good, I should correct myself first. I try to hold the emotion, but sometimes the situation is not good, so I keep making the same mistake. One day I got the youtube link about parenting in the motherhood group, dr. Aisah Dahlan, CHt explained about surah Ali Imran:159. She always uses this verse to be her guide in handling the kids. Click here if you want to watch it.

It's about the importance of being gentle to the kids for whatever they do. It's about forgiving their mistake and also asking Allah SWT for their forgiveness. It's not easy and needs a lot of effort, but I'm grateful to know about this verse. I feel more confident in facing my fear of losing control. I also feel more comfortable because I don't feel alone to face the uncertain things about kids.

At Tariq Surah, my first long surah I can memorize, long for me means more than 15 verses. I'm so happy that I can do that. Thanks to my daughter, who has this school duty. I was worried that she must do it in a limited time, but I was wrong because it wasn't the case. I'm so glad I overheard the teacher in class that said he doesn't want to put pressure on the student so this memorize thing depends on the student's will and capability. Internalized intention is the most important.

My daughter has the intention but not the focus. If I didn't guide her, she would be in her world with Rubik's cube, movies, or books. There are 17 verses and a short time to memorize. I didn't force her because I also can't do that. In the end we learn together. I try to memorize 2-3 verses at once before I asked her to study. It might be her duty, but I'm struggling too. Do I regret putting her in Islamic school? Not at all. Honestly, I was in doubt when choosing her school, and I was scared to face this kind of duty because I have so many weaknesses. But now I'm so grateful because I can learn and get the motivation to memorize more surah. It's not about my daughter anymore, but it was for myself. Should I found teacher for me too??

Back to my daughter, she finally gets all verses to memorize on the last day. I was set goal for only 12 verses but apparently she can do it better. It's beyond expectation. She's happy that she can pass the test for all verses. This image represents her very well.

Now she asked me to memorize another surah, the longer one. Challenge accepted girl. I just found this article to help kids memorize the Quran, I hope we can move forward together.

A long ago, my definition of taking a break was to have time alone for relaxing activities. Every day I always wait for the kid's sleep time. It was the time when I finally have time to entertain myself with browsing and watching. Sometimes I lack sleep because I watch movies until dawn and become a cranky mom in the morning. My poor daughter is the one who got the impact because I was easily angry.

I feel my life is always flat until a few months ago I join a class and the trainer says that taking a break it's not always about lying around. It's about changing your activity. For example, when you are tired of the kid, try cooking. When you are tired of cooking, try to read a book, etc. The point is to take a break from one activity to another activity. When I knew about this, my life has changed. I didn't stick to rest at one time anymore. I feel I have a lot of me-time that let me enjoy my role as a stay-at-home mom.

No more waiting time: every second is valuable for me. I feel like I can do anything. Now children are no longer an obstacle to being productive. I even sleep early following my kids. It was around 9 pm, while a long time ago I always sleep around midnight. I didn't miss the nighttime because I already fulfill what I need and want to do in a day.

Since I sleep early, I also wake up early. I try to open my eyes around 3 am to 4 am, when my watch starts vibrating. If I am still exhausted, I usually sleep again and wake up at 5 am. On the other hand, when fully rested, I can read and pray in better quiet time. It was better than at night because I already do my homework to sleep well.

Anyway, let rest for a while because I need to do my laundry now :D

A year ago I began to watch a vlog about mom's life. I wonder why a mom with many kids can be so productive and apparently one of the answers is about independent play.

Children need time alone to play. It gives a lot of benefits such as emotional regulation, social independence, self-confidence, self-reliance, better learners. You can read the explanation here Why Independent Play is Important for Children

When I moved to my new house, I got stuck with my 2 years old child since hubby was always busy working and come home above 6 p.m. She always wants to be accompanied, which makes me struggle very much because I didn't have my own space. I let that happen for years because I think it's just a normal phase but I was very wrong. My mistake is I didn't encourage her to play alone.

Learning from my mistake, I try to give different treatment to my second child. I train him to play alone since he was 2 years old. I'm giving him a safe space to play and read a book. I declutter the toys and books so that he can found and reaches things easily.

I make myself busy with asking my mom to replace the maid's role for cooking. I got 2 benefits from this independent play. First, I can learn how to cook from my mom and the second is my boy can have quiet time to play alone.

The first difficult thing when I train him is to not make eye contact or talk. It's a habit to make a compliment when he makes some achievement. But when I know the tips I try to hold all the comments. There are some tips to train the kids to entertain themselves. I learned it from here

So yeah now the second born is more understandable, he will wait patiently when I go somewhere or even just to the bathroom. He will play or read a book by himself waiting for me. When I need to go out of town, he acted slowly, he said "that's okay mom, I will play puzzle while waiting for you". It succeeds, now I can do what I love, I got more productive than a few years ago when I only took care of one child.

There is one thing I got regret most in my life and that was about breastfeeding my number two. Back when I was pregnant my doctor gives me vitamin D because I tend to be deficient and the effect I guess my baby's teeth come in very quickly. In his first year, he already has 8 teeth.

 It's hurt when I breastfeeding him, but sometimes I can endure the pain. I just use some lanolin cream to treat the sore but it never gets better, so I just keep trying other creams but the result still the same. I endure it for weeks till it gets worst. I came to the doctor and she said I can't have direct breastfeeding for 3 days so the wound can heal quickly. she also gives me antibiotics.

It's heartbreaking because it also affects breast milk, and my boy seems to forget about me.  I try to breastfeed him again but he keeps rejecting me.  He never wake up again in the night. I wish I can give breast milk for two years but sadly he doesn't want it.

If only I didn't give up quickly. If only I try to find help from an expert about relactation. I never know there is a thing called relactation. If you have same problem like me you may need to read this article "How to Start Breastfeeding Again If You’ve Stopped (or Never Started)".

If only I go to the doctor immediately. Don't hold the pain, it might be okay for you but not for your child.

So many things to regret :( Sometimes I wish I have another child just to get the experience again but I don't think I can handle it hahaha.

There are some reasons why I didn't have the confidence to teach hijaiyah letter. First, I was in a Christian school until the age of 10, Second I don't know why I should recite Quran. My parent called a teacher to home but I never took it seriously, no makhraj no tajwid, so I only read Quran when I took the lesson, after that, I never touch it.

When I was 17, I started to learn how to read properly, it's because I need to pass the graduation test. I still remember how my friend, Devi, taught me the tajwid every day after school. After passed the test, the motivation to recite Quran was gone again until I got pregnant with my firstborn. It may be the first time I read it seriously because recite or listen to Quran can give a big impact on a baby's intelligence.

When my daughter is in kindergarten, I let her took an extra hour to learn hijaiyah letter. At that time, my ability was still limited, I already learn from many books but my mistake is I didn't find a teacher so I never know whether the makhraj is right or wrong. Because of that, I let others teach my daughter and I'm regretting it now.

When you read Quran you will get rewarded for every letter. It is not 1 surah, not 1 ayat, not 1 word, but you will be rewarded for each letter that is recited from the verses of the Quran. So when my daughter reads the Quran, not only she will be rewarded but the teacher got it also. That's is why I'm so sad, so remember, do not let others teach hijaiyah to your child. Second born I'm ready now hahaha. I just found a website that provides free printables for kids, you can click here [caption id="attachment_370" align="aligncenter" width="212"] Hijaiyah Poster[/caption]

There is no doubt to resign when I deciding to be a stay-at-home mom. I love my job but at the same time, I don't want to depend on others to raise my child. My boss tries to persuade me but I refused because my contribution to the company might be very very small compare to my child. After all, I'm their world. I just need to wait for a  few years to begin again. So yeah I left my job with pride and then got stress for years hahaha.

It was crazy, it took a long long time for me to accept it. I cry a lot and my husband just said "you make the decision why don't you take the consequences as well." The situation becomes more difficult because I move out of town far away from my family and friends. For a moment I can only count on hubby. This picture describes me very well 😁.

via MEME

Being with a kid for 24 hours is exhausted. I feel bored, lonely, and useless. Sometimes I feel my education is wasted because I can't do anything while taking care of my child. The task seems small but it took a lot of energy. My situation just got better when I enter her into a playgroup. I start making a friend with another mom. It helps me to slowly accept the situation. But still, it feels empty because I have no goal for my life. I try to found things that can work along with kids. But always failed because I didn't know how to make my kid detach from me. Until a year ago I discover about independent play. You can read about this here

One other thing that make me stress is the lack of finances because of the debts. We bought the old house, motorcycle, and car with credit. Our income reduce a lot because of the debt so to fulfill other needs we use a credit card too. So the debts are become higher and higher.

I feel like it was normal because everybody also does that but I was very wrong. I started to have a goal in my life and that was to get out of debt. It took 4-5 years to be free from debt and I guess it was the time when I start to enjoy the part of being stay at home mom. There is more flexibility when the financial not too tight. It helps me to be a happier mom.

The conclusion: There are two things that help me to finally enjoy my role as stay-at-home-mom. First is being debt free and the second is being more productive.

There are a lot of reasons why reading is important but before that, I'll tell you my story. A long ago when I was born, my mom was very busy because at that time she needs to take care of me, my big sister, and also all the chores without any assistant. She told me that she seldom read me a book. So every day she will let me play with my sister.

Things are different with my sister, my mom usually reads her a lot of books since she was a baby. It makes her grew up as a bookworm. She has good knowledge that makes her become a talkative person. She is also better at writing lessons while I find it difficult to string the words.

Now you see the importance of reading. It helps you with vocabulary, start a conversation and overcome stress. It helps you with everything. If you don’t like reading, you may not found the topic yet, just keep exploring. I used to hate books, but now I love them because now I have kids hahaha.

You know when you have kids, a lot of things happen, bam bam bam, you can't handle it well unless you learn about them. When you know the reason why kids act something, you won't get stress. This might be the beginning of my interest in books.

Now about my kids, the firstborn got her first reading routine when she was 3 years old. It's a little bit late actually, but not really. It starts when we went to Sydney and live with my sister for 2 months. She usually read her child a book before going to bed. So when I live there, I have the reading task since my nephew sleeps with me and my daughter. Those 2 months of experience make my daughter get interested in books.  I still remember the first book I read, the title is There's a Hippopotamus on Our Roof Eating Cake. They keep asked me to read this book for days.
 

 

I'm grateful to my sister because she taught me how to grow this reading interest at a young age. Now my second born loves books since he was a baby because the resources are a lot.

So for the conclusion, first you need to provide a lot of books and read them aloud and second, the most important is you need to make them visible everywhere because it attracts them to read even just to turn around the page.